How you can help encourage the admission and healthy expression of grief:

Be a listener. Children are most helped by genuine concern that is expressed by others listening rather than people seeking to give the “right” piece of advice.  Tell children that grieving lasts longer than anyone expects, although the intensity usually subsides.
Do not avoid talking about the person or event because you feel that it may reawaken the pain.  Avoidance of the topic conveys a lack of caring, rather than the more likely fact that you do not know what to say.  Usually, your child will want to talk, although it may not come in the fashion or at the time that you had planned.  Follow the child’s lead and be a listener.
Try not to make any unnecessary changes during this time of grief.  This is not the time to be making an important decision.  Attempt to keep the situation as normal as possible.

What to watch for:

Withdrawal and isolation
Physical complaints (headache, stomach pain)
Emotional concern (depression, sadness, tension, suicidal thoughts, confusion)
Antisocial behavior (stealing, acting out, aggression, substance abuse)
School problems (avoidance, disruptive behavior, academic failures)

Most of these are temporary. Children who appear to be withdrawn and who isolate themselves from family and friends may be experiencing emotional difficulties. The need to appear competent may work against their reaching out to others for assistance. Most grief reactions are normal responses to disaster and loss; however, suicidal thinking must always be treated seriously and outside help must be sought. It is important that children are given and give themselves permission to grieve.